


Customer Service

by Nitrobot



Category: Transformers: Prime
Genre: F/M, mentioned phone sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-12
Updated: 2014-02-12
Packaged: 2018-01-12 03:47:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1181519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nitrobot/pseuds/Nitrobot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Knockout and Breakdown are sex line operators. Starscream demands a refund.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Customer Service

_Ring ring_  
Ring ring  
Ring ring  
Ring ri- 

"Answer the damn phone, Knock Out, I'm busy," Breakdown yelled in a disgruntled tone, entangled in a mess of cords, wires and other assorted communication connections. The mech in question, peds propped up on his desk and optics appraising his spotless armour, rolled them and plucked the ringing telephone from one of the nearby stations. Somewhere in the background a large shape hopped around on one ped before crashing to the ground in a mess of cords, wires and other assorted communication connections as Knock Out brought the receiver to his helm.

"You have reached Desexticon Line Help Centre, how may I help you," he sighed by rote, splaying his digits out in front of him for inspection.

"You fragging well can help me," screeched out of the reciever in a whine that actually damaged some of Knock Out's auditory nodes. _'Oh Primus spare me, it's one of those nights.'_

"I was not satisfied with the service that I received, and as such I demand a refund!" the whine continued, causing the red mech's lidded optics to widen in contemptuous disbelief.

"You're kidding, right?" 

"Does it sound like I'm kidding?! Why, the witch that I was hooked up with practically threw _death threats_ at me! On what planet is that considered erotic?!"

"Oh, you'd be surprised..." Knock Out mumbled uncomfortably at the resurgence of space-hopping memories. He only barely got off of Sadomas-8 alive, and even then there were hitchhiking femmes in his storage compartment.

"And which of our fine selection was it who threatened you?"

" _Airachnid_ , she called herself." The red mech could practically feel the shiver of revulsion from down the line. "Talking about cutting off my head and doing _unspeakable_ things to it!"

"Oh come now, I'm sure they're not unspea-"

" _UNSPEAKABLE!_ " the other voice interrupted, heaving air heavily in rage. "On top of all that, her demanding rates were ridiculous! Five energon chips for ten minutes and she doesn't even accept Novacards! Why I've have half a mind to-"

Knock Out threw a calling whistle towards Breakdown, who was just beginning to pick himself up from the floor, as his client ranted on. "We've got a hysterical lady on Line 2-"

" _LADY?!_ I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I AM STARSCREAM, SECOND IN COMMAND TO LORD MEGATRON AND LEADER OF THE ELITE SEEKER TRINE, AND I WILL NOT LET COMMONERS DISGRACE ME IN SUCH A WAY!"

"Hang on a mo', _Lord Megatron_ , you say?" Knock Out asked, a mischievous grin spreading on his faceplates.

"Yes, the great leader of the Decepticon army! So I'd advise that you give me my refund and forward my complaints straight to the lady herself!"

"I've got a better idea," Knock Out said, glancing over at a device at his side, red light beeping. "How about you pay the fee and a _little bit extra_ , and we won't have this little discussion leave this room?

"What are you muttering about, you-"

"Audio recording is such an overlooked technology nowadays that most barely even remember that it exists. I wonder what Lord Megatron would think of his Second In Command wasting army resources on his own-"

"WAIT WAIT WAIT!" Starscream exploded on the line. "L-let's not do anything rash now, I mean, w-we're all friends here, right? I see no reason for Megatron to be alerted of my...transgressions." Knock Out's grin grew wider.

"I thought not. I'll take it you'll be paying directly?"


End file.
